That's how this grace thing works

I mentioned that this week has been a full and busy one but didn't mention that it has also been an emotionally charged one. We found out this week that any decisions about future postings for James's job have been delayed until well into December. Hopefully we'll know what's going on by Christmas but I did not react well to the news of further delays. Uncertainty is not something I enjoy having present in my life. There may have been tears of sheer frustration.

We also began discussions about the future in a much large sense. There have been some good results (whee... he talked honestly and openly about babies for the first time. Not that it'll be happening anytime soon) and some bombshells. It turns out we do not have matching views on marriage and this is the first time he was honest and open about that. I was not pleased! Especially as I have never been secretive about my expectations.

This is not to say that we won't be able to find a compromise that we are both happy with and can live with but in my attempt to get to the bottom of things I said some probably hurtful things, things that I would have taken offence at had they been coming the other way. The fact that they had some truth to them probably doesn't excuse them and I felt at one point that perhaps I was coming a little close to burning some bridges. However, it turns out love doesn't work that way and he hasn't wavered in his clear and unshakable belief in us. Grace and love are certainly the foundation of us. And that isn't going to change.