Facing forward

Søren Kierkegaard: "Life can only be understood backwards, but it has to be lived forwards." (found at positively present)

Like many people I have a tendency to dwell on the past. "If only I had known this" or "If I understood at the time what that meant", are frequent thoughts. I've come to understand that hindsight is only useful for the future and so the lessons to be learned from the past should be assimilated and put to good use for my future. There is no point in me dwelling on the past if all I am going to do is chastise myself about it. What is done is done and if it was not what I think should have happened, then I need to learn from it and move on.

I'm increasingly of the opinion anyway that there are no "wrong" actions or decisions. There are ones that can have outcomes that are more unpleasant that you might have wished, but every single thing that I experience builds me up as person and contributes to my store of wisdom.

Do I wish I had chosen a different postgrad? Sometimes, but what I did learn in terms of dealing with people who don't respect me is invaluable. Should I have ever been involved with that man-child? No, but out of that came a respect for myself and my feelings and worth that I didn't have before. Is it a pity that I missed out on two years of relationship time with James because I wasn't able to manage long distance? It is but we both grew enormously in that time and what we have is much better for it.

I've been blessed with a good life, loving parents and siblings, true friends and so many experiences. If I look on my past I want to use it to make my future better. My little tendency to be hard on myself, which James berates me for when he hears me say something negative, is something I am working on. If I can learn to turn all my not-so-fantastic decisions and experiences into something that will make my future a more balanced and happier one, then I think I am living my life the right way.

Photo Credit: James